I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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