While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
