Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
