also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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