You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
