I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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