Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
