I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
