just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
