where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
