god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
