Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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