Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the day after is always just damage control
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
