HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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