Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
FUCK WHALES
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