so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
