i just made my gag reflex go away.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
