Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
