somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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