I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
