Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
sarcasm needs its own font
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
