Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
