I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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