and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I AM VODKA MAN
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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