I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
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It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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