At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
