weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I bet he comes in French.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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