Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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