Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
