i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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