I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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