Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
