ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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