Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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