People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
