I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
