i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
