I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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