I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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