Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
