If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
