why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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