You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
