those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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