in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Please don't give away my fajitas
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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