so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
