remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
