in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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