.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
