Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
