I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
well you can't waste a boner
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize