UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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