i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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