New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize