I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
