He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
