Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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