I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?