Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?