my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.