And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You made out with two different species that night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
