Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK