Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(737): View more from Texas

at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so

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(737): at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...<div>(1-737): I hope so</div> http://tfl.nu/b6f6

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

No...more like a life jacket.

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(603): Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet? (1-603): No...more like a life jacket. http://tfl.nu/4uwt

Replies (8) Good night (1413) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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(530): View more from California

shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

(1-530): View more from California

just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

(530): View more from California

yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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(530): shit pants at work. discarded underwear. (1-530): just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now? (530): yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye. http://tfl.nu/oxzl

Replies (44) Good night (879) Bad night (4789)
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(214): View more from Texas

I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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(214): I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina. http://tfl.nu/q4iw

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(360): View more from Washington

I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.

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(360): I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high. http://tfl.nu/uw52

Replies (12) Good night (3173) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.

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(407): so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it. http://tfl.nu/5uvk

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(916): View more from California

rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war

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(916): rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war http://tfl.nu/t68o

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(214): View more from Texas

a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"

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(214): a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate" http://tfl.nu/0wuw

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

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(225): Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again http://tfl.nu/n0xl

Replies (5) Good night (3040) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess

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(506): Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess http://tfl.nu/9ahd

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical

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(508): I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical http://tfl.nu/aogk

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(905): View more from Ontario

His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.

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(905): His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines. http://tfl.nu/30ox

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome

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(+44): Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome http://tfl.nu/l1fy

Replies (8) Good night (992) Bad night (410)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....

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(775): I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets.... http://tfl.nu/2q79

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(253): View more from Washington

T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.

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(253): T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night. http://tfl.nu/lo7s

Replies (0) Good night (220) Bad night (81) Order T-Shirt

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