I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.