You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.