i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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