We won't sleep together?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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