The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
