Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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