I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
