I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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