So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
