wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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