I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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